


Someone to blame

by killerweasel



Series: Need Some Company [2]
Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel





	Someone to blame

Title: Someone to blame  
Fandom: Angel  
Characters: Lindsey McDonald, Cordelia Chase  
Rating: R  
Word count: 1,412  
A/N: This is AU after _Angel's Reunion_

**Someone to blame**

“We were thinking about opening our own place.” The microwave beeped. “Your blood is done, Lindsey. And I swear everything I cook in it tastes like burnt blood now.”

“That wasn’t entirely my fault, Cordelia. I’m still new at this, how was I supposed to know I was putting it in for too long?” At least it hadn’t exploded. I never would have heard the end of that. Wait a second. She’d said something before the blood bit. “You’re opening a new agency? I didn’t know any of you had that kind of start-up cash.”

“We don’t.” I watched her make some lunch while I got my blood from the microwave. “But we need a place where people can go when they need help. It’s not like we can use the hotel anymore.”

She had a point. And I couldn’t really see anyone seeking Angel out for assistance, not in the dark state he was in. “Did you have something in mind?”

“We found a cheap place the other day.” Cordelia made a face. “It’s in our budget though.”

I drained half the mug. Reheated stuff wasn’t nearly as good as something direct from the vein, but I couldn’t exactly bring people over for a snack either. Somehow I didn’t think Cordelia would be the least bit amused if I ever tried anything like that. “You guys are serious about this?” She nodded. “I know someone that can find a decent place. Money’s not a problem.”

Cordelia gave me a look. “What do you mean it isn’t a problem? I just told you what we could afford right now.”

“I’ll pay for it.” I wished I had a camera so I could take a picture of Cordelia’s face when she heard that. It was absolutely priceless. I shrugged. “Might as well put some of what I made as an evil lawyer into a good cause, right?”

She didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I was rather impressed with myself. It took quite a bit to make Cordelia speechless. While I waited for an answer, I finished off the rest of the blood in my mug. “Why would you do that, Lindsey?”

“It’s my fault.” I got up and walked my mug to the sink. After rinsing it out a few times, I set it down to be washed. “Do you have any idea what it was like for her those first few months as a human? Darla hadn’t been human in over two hundred years. All of the things we don’t even think about, eating, breathing, even walking, she had to relearn everything. And she was so damn scared.” I shook my head. “Most of them treated her like she was a project, not a person. She was going to be the key to Angel going dark while still having his soul intact. They didn’t give a shit about what she was going through or what she might need.”

Cordelia closed the distance between us and set her hand on my shoulder. “You really cared about her, didn’t you?”

“I was never going to be who she wanted. Deep down, I knew that. But I was there when she woke up screaming from nightmares she couldn’t remember. I was the one who brought her outside into the daylight for the first time. I was there when she needed someone to lean on. I might not have been the one she wanted, but I was the one she needed.” I thought about the night Darla had slipped into my bed, still shaking from one of the nightmares she’d had. She’d allowed me to curl my body around hers, telling me it made her feel safe and warm.

“What I didn’t know, since they didn’t bother to tell me, was that Darla was dying. They brought her back like that on purpose. For some insane reason, they seemed to think that Angel would turn her to keep her in this world. I think they forgot he was the one who took her out of it in the first place. Besides, we both know that never would have happened. He doesn’t even feed from humans anymore.” My thoughts and opinions on the entire thing didn’t matter to Wolfram and Hart. They had their own plans, most of which weren’t passed on to me.

“At first I didn’t believe them when they said she was sick. I brought in my own personal doctor to confirm it. The look on her face when they told her...” I trailed off. It reminded me of my mama when she found out she was a lot sicker than the doctors previously thought. By that point it was too late to do much of anything. “Angel wouldn’t do it. He tried to come up with other ways to save her and those didn’t work either.” I closed my eyes. “I was there when she died.”

“I know.” Cordelia squeezed my shoulder. “He told us.”

“I don’t think that’s what she wanted, but I took the choice away when I brought Drusilla in.” The look on Darla’s face when she realized what was about to happen haunted my dreams. “I couldn’t lose her, Cordelia. And the ironic thing is, the moment the last bit of life faded from her body, I did. The woman who woke up wasn’t the one I knew.”

Part of me always wondered if she’d turned me in the wine cellar so I would know exactly what she’d gone through. It was fear followed by pain followed by helplessness until you were hovering on that very thin line between life and death. Then she’d pressed her wrist to my lips and I could taste copped on my tongue. All I had to do was drink.

We stood there in silence for a while with me lost in my thoughts and Cordelia probably debating on smacking me in the back of the head to make me stop brooding. Finally, she cleared her throat. “I’ll have the others come over and we’ll see what they think about your offer.”

“They don’t trust me.” That was the understatement of the year. The ex-Watcher hadn’t been thrilled at all when he’d found out I was staying with Cordelia two or three times a week. He’d threatened to stake me until Cordelia had threatened to put one of her very pointy shoes up his nose. The street thug didn’t really trust anyone, and Angel throwing them out on their asses hadn’t exactly helped matters either. “They’ll say no.”

“You haven’t given them a reason to yet.” She gave me a smile. “You could come with us the next time I have a vision and show them you’re not what they think you are.”

“They might think I’m trying to be him.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’ll help you guys get a new place, but the whole hero thing is not for me.”

“Just think about it.”

While she cleaned up what was left of her lunch, I leaned against the counter. “I called my sister last night. She’s going to get the family together next weekend so we can talk.”

Cordelia blinked at me in surprise. “You really think it’s a good idea to tell them you’re a vampire?”

“Family’s important to me. I don’t see why that should change just because I’m a member of the undead.” I’d been taking care of my younger siblings for as long as I could remember. There was no way I could just walk away from them now. “If they don’t want anything to do with me afterwards, then that’s fine. But I won’t know until we talk.”

“Are you sure you want to do it by yourself?”

Now it was my turn to be surprised. “You’d come with me?”

“Sure.” She tossed the washcloth she’d been using into the sink. “It might be fun to get out of Los Angeles for a while. Where does your sister live?”

“Susan’s in Las Vegas. She owns and operates a restaurant near a couple of the larger casinos. They make a damn good homemade chicken pot pie.” I didn’t need to eat any more, but just the thought of it made my mouth water.

“Vegas?” Cordelia rubbed her hands together. “I haven’t been there in ages.” A huge smile spread across her face. “I’m coming with you.”

I matched her smile with one of my own. “I’ll let Susan know I’m bringing a guest.”


End file.
